So, today as I was watching Doctor Who confidential, I experienced this terrible wave of envy. It was a scene showing Steven Moffat narrating the episode script for "The Eleventh Hour". It was filming the read-through table he was at (with Matt, Karen, and a bunch of actors), and then cutting to the actual episode, where his words sprang to life on screen.
And I thought, "Steven Moffat, I should like to be you."
It's actually a little bit creepy, because I'm pretty sure the Pottermore sorting hat never asked me anything about ambition. And yet, it saw that Slytherin streak in me, that is apparently pretty strong. That streak that is good, when it drives me to write and to log off the internet more often (haha... yeah, right) but that kills when I don't give it up to God.
Really, having people blogging and Tumbling about how much they hate me would be just my cup of tea. It would be love. It'd mean that I'd done something with storytelling. But when I latch on to that good drive - the drive to reach people's hearts with stories - and hold it too tight, it really becomes poison.
Moralistic happy time! Gather 'round, children, pull up an animal puzzle foamy mat! Trust in God and He'll give you everything you could dream of! He'll make it easy and safe! Keep smiling, and if things don't go exactly to your plan, that's because you're a BAD CHRISTIAN and you're DOING something WRONG.
No. Seriously, no. That would only be worse. It'd be leading and letting God do the work rather than letting God lead and doing the work He directs. Not that He doesn't help us, but His aim is His Glory and not ours.
And so the dreams wouldn't come through.
But if God wants people organizing raiding parties to hunt me down, because I've touched and kind of torn apart their hearts with a story, then you bet they will, no matter what the odds are.
And if He doesn't, then who cares?
I think I'd rather be on His team. He's the scriptwriter, in the end.
So I hope this whole thing didn't feel like an episode of "Moralistic Happy Time", lol.