The Avengers

I hate action movies.

I could barely sit through The Dark Knight. I had no sympathy for Batman, and the movie dragged - it was twice as long as I expected it to be. True, I was watching it in a car and quite a bit of the dialogue was lost to me, so maybe I'd like it better if I saw it again - don't murder me. But I got the gist of most of it, and still didn't enjoy it.

The Bourne Identity was interesting, but again, had no lure of transcendence over other movies. I was simply watching it - not getting anything from it - and could have walked away any time without regretting not knowing the ending. Actually, I can't remember the ending. And I'm almost certain I never finished that other one - the next Bourne movie, whatever it was. Listen to how callous I am.

Captain America - the only Avengers prequel I ever was around? Please. I stuck around for about fifteen minutes in the middle of the film, then left.

And so you can imagine my thoughts as I walked into the theatre, Avengers tickets in hand. I said, "Why am I here?" out loud to my family. And then I remembered - I was there because I was tired of not being able to read the internet because it was written in Avengers language. Also, why pass up a chance at movie-theatre popcorn? And so I sat down, and -

Well, it was completely different than I expected. Of course, it would be, because apparently I had this vague expectation for it. The Avengers blew that expectation out of the water.

Look, as a shallow reason to like the movie - I'm an aesthetics girl, I like a big budget. Haha, yeah, what with being a Doctor Who fan and all. But seriously, the SFX in Avengers were from H-E-A-V-A-N. Those big, rippling, snake-like flying aliens in the final battle - well, the Avengers blew one up, and then more came, and I thought, "Really? They have enough money for more of those? …I'm good with that."

But effects aside, what made me glued to the screen for this movie? Why did I like it so much? Three reasons, I think - 1) Loki 2) Thor 3) Every one of the other people/godlike beings/mutants on that airship.

Something that can be completely off-putting about an action movie is that I don't expect it to be about characters - rather, plot-centric. Okay, so the Avengers was about an alien attack. But you have to admit, there was a character behind that. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Loki, who is to join the little party, now three strong, made up of my favourite villains on the screen. Loki, who won me over even though I hadn't seen Thor - who makes you feel sorry for him, who pulls your sympathies, who is a bit bonkers, and who makes for a fantastic villain.

The rest of the characters were also great fun to watch. And they were all flawed. I thought they were all going to be cardboard characters kickin' equally cardboard butt, but I was pleasantly surprised.

Hulk was very interesting, with the tension of his potential transformation any second. Iron Man was funny but, for a flaw, annoying. Captain America was the blandest of all, but of course, I'm Canadian and the stars and stripes on his skin didn't arouse any patriotic fire in me. In fact, it just distanced me from him. I didn't see any flaws in him - not obvious ones. And he wasn't that funny. Why was he there? No, sorry, but think about it - he didn't do a WHOLE lot. Not much that couldn't have been done by someone else. Coulson was fun, though, and he played off of the Cap.

Thor was interesting because of his interaction with Loki. The tension was delicious.

Also, I normally hate girls like Black Widow. I'm opposed to the degeneration of the female. I find it annoying in the extreme that people seem to think that if a girl wants to be a hero, that means she has to act like a self-important brat, have no respect for the opposite sex, and pull of snarky jokes every three seconds. Sure, Black Widow was an action girl and had a bit of pride in there, but she didn't act like the males she was around were insects. And when Loki revealed some of her sadness, it just added more to her (so I wasn't pleased to learn that was an act of hers).

The whole movie was actually wonderful. I found it all engaging and fun.

My only qualms - and they weren't huge, in comparison with my enjoyment of the general film - were these.

a) Maybe I'm just too used to British humour - whatever differentiates British humour from other humour, I'm still not sure - but a lot of the jokes just didn't fly for me. They were funny, but I didn't find them pulled off very well. They popped my bubble slightly, with thoughts of "would they really say that? Are they that witty?" Exceptions abounded, of course. Loved Loki's little quip about not being fond of what comes after lightning.

But then again, he was British.

b) Hulk. Sorry, but he demolished the aircraft, completely uncontrollable, early in the film - and then took orders from the other Avengers later on? I found it quite inconsistent.

c) Loki wasn't major enough. Turned fangirl so soon, Micah? Not so. He was the lead villain, but he DID sit around in a box for a while - and even though that was part of his plan, I felt like he should have done more. Also, for such an intelligent guy - as opposed to a punch-and-kick based character - I felt like his downfall could have been more emotion/intelligence based, as opposed to simply being beaten around by a green monster.

That's it for today, folks! Thanks for reading. What did you think of The Avengers, if you've seen it?